Babu jayayya - wata ãyã daga cikin masu wanzuwa dangantaka?

Dukanmu mun san cewa da akai jayayya da rikice-rikice kai ga halakar aure. Amma abin da idan akwai wani gãnãwa tabbatarwa? Abin da idan dangantaka iya fada baya saboda rashin husuma, da jayayya tsakanin mata da miji?

sihiri rabo

Doktor Dzhon M. Gottman ne mai lasisi psychologist. Don da yawa shekarun da suka gabata, masana suna karatu da zaman lafiyar na iyali dangantakar. Ya zama da aka sani ga tun gano "sihiri rabo" tabbatacce kuma korau interactions abokan, wanda shi ne 5 ga 1. A wasu kalmomi, a cikin wani karfi da kuma ci gaba da jam'iyya, kowane biya diyya wani mummunan taron biyar positive.

A wasu lokuta, da jayayya iya zama da amfani?

Da yawa scandals rushe da dangantaka. Wannan kai-hujja ta gaskiya. Duk da haka, bisa ga ka'idar Dr. Gottman, wani rashin negativity kuma iya zama wata ãyã daga wani wanzuwa aure. Gano da mafi kyau duka auna tsakanin diametrically gaban motsin zuciyarmu ne ba na gargajiya view of iyali dangantaka. Our yau masana jayayya da cewa negativity dole ne wanzu, idan ka burin shi ne ya gina karfi da kuma dadewa alliance.

Korau taka muhimmiyar rawa a cikin wasu prosocial ayyuka

Idan korau ji ba mu bukatar, yanayin zai haifar ba su. Suna bukatar, ba kawai da za a daidaita cikin farin ciki, amma kuma ya haifar da wani kwarewa - da engine na mutum ci gaba. Korau motsin zuciyarmu taka muhimmiyar rawa a cikin wasu prosocial ayyuka. Muna magana ne game da zabin da hulda da makircinsu da cewa ba ya aiki, kazalika da ga zunubi shũshũtãwa na romantic ji. A cikin farko idan, a kan tushen korau abubuwan mutane fahimci abin da ayyuka da suka kamata a kauce masa a nan gaba. A karo na biyu idan, ba su ba soyayya mutuwa. Da yawa daga cikinmu sun ji ya ce: "Bayan wani karfi shawara zo m sulhu". Abõkan tãrayya waɗanda suka taba rikici, rashin tawada a cikin dangantaka. Saboda haka, aure ma'aurata ba su da ya bayyana yaki a kan negativity a rayuwarsu. A akasin wannan, rayuwa shi ne matsala-free da husuma, da jayayya zai zama unbearably maras ban sha'awa kuma da ɗan m.

Jayayya taimaka wa daidaita da canje-canje

Dr. Gottman ra'ayin shi ne cewa maza iya samar wa juna remedial feedback. Gaskiyar cewa duniya kewaye da mu ne kullum canja, kuma muna bukatar mu amsa kiran da shi. Showdown ne mafi kyau dace domin wannan manufar. Kamar wancan ne abokan ba kawai koyi zuwa daidaita da sabon yanayi, amma ko da yaushe kasance "a kan wannan zango."

Lokacin da adadin na baya quality

Mun ci gaba a gano alamun wani m aure. Mun sake nazari da "sihiri rabo" motsin zuciyarmu a wani jitu da aure da kuma gano cewa, kowane jayayya abokan bukatar "aiki daga" a cikin biyar-Musulunci m. Bugu da kari ga yawan rikice-rikice, ba za a iya rangwame da kuma ingancin (yadda tashin hankali jayayya da dogon). Dr. Gottman da abokan aiki a lokacin da gwaje-gwajen gano cewa lingering wata gaba ba da warkewa sakamako kamar yadda tashin hankali yaki sosai wani tunanin abokan. Saboda haka, babu korau Ɗaukaka a rikice-rikice babu makawa ya ba Yunƙurin zuwa shakka wani kyau sakamako. An gano cewa mai laushi mai saɓani da nau'i-nau'i alama rashin kauna, aiki amfani, kai-irony, tashin hankali, da farin ciki, da kuma goyon bayan empathy.

A bambanci, wani m dangantaka da protracted ta faɗa ba ko da yaushe kai ga katsewa. Partners a cikin wannan alliance da a kan juna kiwon lafiya effects. Kuma bari wannan tasiri ne ba ko da yaushe m. Abu daya ne bayyananne: wannan model na hadin gwiwa iya kai ga kwanciyar hankali, idan abokan zai la'akari "sihiri rabo" kuma zai yi aiki a kan samar da wani m yanayi domin karfafa tabbatacce interactions.

Wannan ne rabo dace da kasuwanci

Abin mamaki, "sihiri rabo" na 5 zuwa 1 ne m ga kasuwanci. Nazarin ya nuna cewa mafi tasiri shugabannin a kowane zargi na qarqashinsu bar wani talakawan of 5.6 m comments. Kamar yadda ka gani, a kananan rabo na korau ne wani muhimmin ɓangare na dukan tsari. Da farko, da zargi (da jayayya) ne jawo hankali. Na biyu, da mummunan feedback kare da jin daɗi.